Japanese prosecutors arrest Mickey Mouse in daring Tokyo Disneyland Resort raid; CE0 Duffy says, “He’s no mouse; he’s a rat.”

TOKYO–Mickey Mouse, the Chairman of Tokyo Disneyland Resorts Worldwide (TDRW), and his number two, Donald Duck, were arrested today by Tokyo Special Prosecutors on charges of accounting fraud, as they arrived on a private magic carpet at the Tokyo Disneyland Resort around midnight on January 10th.

Mickey Mouse in a Japanese jail where he will reside for the next 23 days, or until he is rearrested next month.
“He’s no mouse; he’s a rat,” said CEO Duffy in a press conference today.

Mickey Mouse, “The Cheese and Expenses Eater” once considered a hero in Japan for his successful turnaround of Tokyo Disneyland when it was threatened with bankruptcy thirty years ago, had no comment about the arrest. This may be because he was immediately thrown in a cage, where he will be held for twenty-three days, where he will be interrogated without a lawyer from morning until night, without being informed of the charges against him, kept in solitary confinement and will be urged to confess to his crimes before being rearrested, while the prosecutors obliquely threaten his family and friends. The Tokyo Prosecutors are already preparing an arrest warrant for Minnie Mouse–according to official unofficial leaks to the Japanese press.

CEO Duffy, once considered Mr Mouse’s protege, held a press conference this morning where he decried his boss as a traitor and maniacal dictator who desperately needed to be removed for the greater good of TDRW (Tokyo Disneyland Resorts Worldwide) and Japan.

“He’s no mouse,” said CEO Duffy, “He’s a rat. We’ve already spent the yen equivalent of 100 million dollars on an internal investigation to determine that Mr Mouse has eaten several cheese dogs at the park without paying. Although, the blow to our public image may cost us the yen equivalent of $900 million, we feel …continue reading