Source: Gaijin Pot
When I first came to Japan, I was soon introduced to the “Charisma Man” stereotype. According to this stereotype, foreign guys are irresistible to Japanese women who are utterly incapable of distinguishing between suitable and unsuitable mates, happily dating losers that foreign women see right through.
As my first cautious dips into the dating world taught me, however, Japanese women have plenty of ways to deflate wannabe Charisma Men themselves.
Usingしつこい to describe persistence
Overly enthusiastic daters may hear the word しつこい (persistent), for example.
Though the word itself doesn’t always have a bad connotation, in the dating scene it’s used to mean a person who just won’t take no for an answer. If you’re a student, on the other hand, and someone says 勉（べん）強（きょう）する努（ど）力（りょく）をしつこくやってるね (he/she is persistently putting in the effort to study) for example, the connotation is more positive.
Of course, not everyone has the self-awareness to realize when they are being しつこい. Japanese have a secret slang for such people—KY which is pronounced けーわい. This term is taken from the phrase 空（くう）気（き）読（よ）めない (someone who can’t understand social cues), which we’ve talked about before.
In dating, this describes a totally clueless person who is missing the hints that whoever they’re pursuing is just not interested. At all.
KY people may hear this associated with words like 不（ふ）安 （あん）in sentences such as 不安にさせる (you’re making me uneasy) or in extreme cases paired with the word 下（した）心（ごころ）. 下心 is an interesting compound word made up of the kanji 下（した ）(under) and 心（こころ） (heart). It means the person has an ulterior motive that’s usually malicious.
Looking for love in all the wrong places
One of the problems with a lot of stereotypes about Japanese women is the tacit implication that they’re only looking for a casual partner and any foreign guy will do. Of course, if a …continue reading