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Yobai: The Japanese Practice of Sneaking Into Women’s Bedrooms

May 20 (News On Japan) - For much of Japan’s history, particularly in rural areas, a now-banned tradition called yobai—or “night crawling”—was a common courtship practice. Until the early 1900s, it was socially accepted for young men to sneak into women’s homes at night for consensual sex, with variations depending on the region.

A 100-year-old woman named Hatanaka Kamegiku recalled how, as a teenager, neighborhood boys would quietly enter girls’ rooms in the night, often by laying cloth on tatami mats to silence their steps, while families knowingly pretended to be unaware. Girls had the right to say no, and community norms ensured that violence or coercion was not tolerated.

In some villages, yobai became ritualized through events such as post-harvest parties, where girls left doors open as a signal, and boys would respectfully compete for a chance to visit them, often using games like rock-paper-scissors to decide. In more casual setups, boys might pee on the door to quiet its creak—or to “mark” that a house had already been visited that night, though the latter claim may have been a joke. Voyeurism wasn’t uncommon, with boys sometimes listening in or even watching couples through open doors. Discretion was expected; the boys had to leave before dawn or risk awkward encounters with the girl’s family over breakfast.

Some women welcomed multiple visitors, while others hosted none. While some communities encouraged more restraint, others were far more permissive—even allowing married men or, in rare cases, women to engage in night crawling. Relationships that began through yobai often ended in marriage, sometimes intentionally engineered through planned pregnancy to pressure families into approval. In cases where the family disapproved, the child might be handed over to the man’s household, sometimes to be raised by his wife. Despite the sexual openness, these villages had a strong support system for single mothers and children, and community ties often softened the burden of nontraditional families.

The frequency and openness of yobai varied widely by region. In Japan’s northeast, stricter family hierarchies discouraged it, as bloodlines were carefully protected. In the southwest, looser hierarchies and cooperative family structures allowed greater sexual freedom. This regional divide reveals how deeply social organization influenced sexual customs. In some aristocratic contexts during the Heian period, yobai even became formalized—three consecutive nights together could constitute a legal marriage. In Edo-era pleasure quarters, courtesans borrowed the pattern, refusing intimacy until the third meeting.

The practice was eventually outlawed during the Meiji era as part of government modernization efforts, officially labeled as adultery. Yet it lingered quietly in some communities into the 1950s. While often romanticized today, yobai had real consequences, including unwanted pregnancies, hidden paternity, and in rare tragic cases, violent retaliation. One such case was Toi Mutsuo, a young man suffering from tuberculosis whose rejection by former lovers led him to commit mass murder in 1938, exploiting the unlocked doors of a yobai-practicing village.

For people like Kamegiku, yobai was more than a ritual—it was a cultural fabric of youth, intimacy, and autonomy. She fondly recalled an era when women had more freedom to express their sexuality, and mourned what she saw as modern restrictions on female desire. While the tradition is gone, echoes of its spirit remain buried in Japan’s countryside lore, perhaps still whispered in the creak of a sliding door—or the splash of something stranger in the dark.

Source: Linfamy

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